I love to dance!  My inner dance is an intimate expression of my heart and an outpouring of praise to my Lord!  What moves you to a place of heartfelt worship?  What does your inner dance of praise look like?

The morning sun leapt through the lace curtain of Grandma’s bedroom window and danced across the bureau mirror as I played in its top drawer, which boasted every color of bracelet imaginable, beautifully displayed on paper towel tubes!  I would pull them off the tube and slide them down my arms, sometimes twenty on each arm, and then twirl about in the sunshine’s spotlight singing out whatever melody burst from my lungs!  Many times I found myself in this place of play during my younger years; a safe place to be me with no other expectations except to play.  That was the work of my days!  My grandmother’s home was a safe place for me to express myself.  I am so grateful for the memories I have in that home!

Grandma was strict and forward, but I always knew she loved me.  She said I was beautiful, athletic,  and artistically talented.  She said I would go places and do things.  Most evenings we sat on the porch rocking together while she shared with me things about the world beyond my front door.   A teacher of over four decades and passionate about exploring entitled my Grandmother to share her stories with my eager soul.  These memories were a lifesaver for me during some very hard times, and are still deeply ingrained gems that motivate me today.  I walked in the shoes of my grandmother and became a teacher.  However, our experiences were much different.  

During my last year and a half of teaching I gained 100 pounds over the course of 11 months.  My eating habits were not horrible, but not stellar, either.  However, they were not the basis of this sudden change in appearance.  I would later learn the reason behind the fast weight gain was the result of mold toxicity.   Regardless of the reason, the weight gain profoundly impacted my self-worth.  I had spent my entire life bent on not being overweight; this was a family issue, so I was unaware of its looming taunts.  The weight gain impacted my whole being, and shaded every aspect of my existence.  Because of a lifetime of situations where I was judged by my physique, I had been programmed by circumstances to believe my worth was hinged on how I looked!  It has taken me years to reprogram my thinking by replacing false thoughts with biblical truth.  In spite of my constant battle with self-image,  God has always been pleased with who He created me to be – ALL of me!  While my outer shell is judged by the world’s standards and I am treated accordingly, I have learned that it is NOT who I am.  

I reflect back on the dances in my grandmother’s room and her storytelling on the porch, and I recall the words of a trusted person in my life.  Then, I look to the One who created me, and I remember that my identity is not based on my appearance, but on who God says I am.  I know that taking care of my body is good stewardship and God honoring, for it is His temple.  But, I also know that His grace abounds and He knows my story far better than even I know it.  He knows the pain I endured at a young age from multiple situations that scarred my self-image, the tears I shed from the painful touches of untrustworthy individuals, and the hurtful words that were thrust at me in false statements.  He knows me and my hurts.  His compassion cleanses the wounds and His love washes over me with peace and contentment.   

Can you say to yourself that your beauty comes from that of a gentle and quiet spirit?  I choose to remind myself of this several times throughout the day, and amp it up when I must go clothes shopping.  I still battle wardrobe malfunctions, and loathe shopping for clothes, but they do not define me!  

Claiming scripture when you are struggling with destructive thoughts is an effective way to overcome a persistent negative self-talk.  God’s word still prevails.  Believing the lies makes us ineffective for Christ.  Truth will set you free and empower your effectiveness for Christ!  

It is my prayer that you can memorize 2 Peter 3:4, hide it in your heart, and believe that your inner wealth of a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in the sight of God!  May you joyously dance for Jesus!

The instrumental song below is one of my favorites to inner dance my praises to my Savior. My husband wrote this for me, and it thrills my heart to share this with you.

Joyfully Healing from the Inside Out,

“A FLORAL LOVE SONG” Written, Composed and Orchestrated by Elliott Swanson, We the Saved Ones