Merciful Mending

TWO BOOKS

Katrina Swanson — Sun, 24 Apr 2022 04:50:04 +0000

I am a morning bird! I wake up with a song in my heart and joy overflowing. I am eager to get going with the day and, if I am up before the sun, watching the sunrise is a special treat for me! So, when I sleep late, there’s usually a reason connected with not feeling well. However, on this particular morning, I believe I slept longer to receive a gift in a dream from the Lord. In the dream, there were two books. On the left was a typical journal type book written in typeset font. In the book, there were a lot of names with check marks beside them. On the right there was the most intriguing and unique journal. It was nothing like our familiar idea of a book today, but rather more like a never ending scroll. The scroll was transparent, so you could see the opaque names written on it in all languages and fonts, but it also overlaid a topical map of the world.

When I awoke, I was eager to quickly get to the Bible. I immediately jumped into the scriptures and the Lord took me to Luke 10:20, the passage the Lord was talking about to me in this dream. Jesus is talking to the Disciples after they learned they had the power to drive out demons in the Name of Jesus. They were both excited and overwhelmed, but what Jesus pointed out was that they were distracted by this gifting. Rejoice, he tells them, not that the demons submit to you, but that your name is written in the Book of life!

The two books were a reminder to me of the difference between being a member of a church congregation and being a follower of Jesus Christ. The standard image of a book represents the legalism and deception that much of the church has adopted, thinking that this is the way to earn your place in heaven.

It was a very humbling visual that caused me to ponder my life and reflect on my actions and deeds. Do I live rejoicing that my name is written in the heavens? Or, do I let distractions and deceptions infiltrate my works and good deeds? It’s a daily, moment by moment, checks and balances approach to yield to the Holy Spirit to keep me in line with living the way Christ wants me to live.

Let my heart not be distracted, Lord, from hearing you and serving you. May I be about Your kingdom work so that all may REJOICE that their name is written in the heavens! Lord, this is my prayer for all!

Joyfully Healing From The Inside Out,

NOT JUST A HAIRCUT

Katrina Swanson — Sun, 10 Apr 2022 09:20:34 +0000

During Bible Study one night our discussion led to a topic of hair cutting. One of the gals shared how she used the “unicorn” strategy to cut her hair. Now, what you must know is that she had been doing this for maybe two decades. Her hair always looked beautiful and very becoming to her face. So, I thought I would give it a try a week later! A few things I failed to think about: 1) That I had never done this and 2) I should have written these directions down or watched a YouTube video! Well, it didn’t go horribly, but it didn’t go superbly, either. I sat with a friend two days later whom I had not seen in several months; she just happened to be a hairdresser. She looked at me and complimented me on my new hair style, that it was very flattering to my face. But then also said, with her head partially cocked to the side, “but something isn’t quite right”. I hung my head and sheepishly confessed to having cut it myself a few days earlier. She said, “ah, it’s not that bad, I can fix it!” I was relieved that it wasn’t a total travesty. What I did realize in that moment was that my hair cutting roots were very shallow and my hairdresser friend had deep hair cutting roots. So much so that she recognized the flaws I didn’t see, but saw redemption! She represented the depth that a mentor would have. I likened this realization to spiritual mentorship and what Paul addresses with the Colossians when he writes these words from his prison cell in Rome: “So then, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, being rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing with gratitude” (Colossians 2:6-7).

A question I have to consistently ponder is whether my life choices and actions match what I say? Does your walk match your talk? In the secret spaces of our thoughts, motives, and passions, is there evidence of being built up in Christ? Is there an overflow of the fruits of the Spirit in your life? So, how do you ensure this is happening? A good place to start is to be held accountable by a trusted friend who will ask you the hard questions, or guide you into deeper waters of trusting God? Are you being discipled by an older and wiser woman? Or are you trying to walk the journey alone? If you have chosen to do the Christian walk alone, I caution you that isolation is Satan’s playground. We are treading on destructive and misleading ground if we think we can walk this Christian life alone, or without accountability. My Discipleship Leader in college taught me this in my early years as a believer, and I have found it to be very real. Today, my mentor asks me the hard questions, she pushes me out of my comfort zone, and challenges me to seek Christ first, and that I recognize Him to be enough in my life. Accountability is the difference between deep roots and shallow roots. Deep roots will withstand the unpredictable challenges of life when they come and all that the enemy throws to tear you down. Shallow roots will lead to poor choices, destructive patterns, depression and anxiety, to name just a few.

So, what does Paul mean here when he says, “Rooted and Overflowing”? Its Accountability, Discipleship and Thanksgiving! These are the tools the Holy Spirit uses to develop deep roots that allow us to endure, persevere, and overflow with the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. There is joy in this journey. Have you experienced it? Who is holding you accountable on this journey?

It is my prayer that each of you will be rooted deeply in Christ so you will withstand the lies of the enemy and overflow with thanksgiving. If you are not in an accountability position with an older and wiser woman, I encourage you to seek God for the right person. The kind who will say the hard stuff and ask the hard questions. I pray that isolation will not be your M.O. anymore if it has been. And, may the Lord grow you all in your discipling of others. There is joy in this journey if we allow ourselves to go deep! To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen.

Joyfully Healing From the Inside Out,

WAFFLE LOVE

Katrina Swanson — Sat, 12 Feb 2022 20:04:12 +0000

I recently stayed at a hotel and went down to enjoy some warm breakfast. I gathered my paper plate and filled it with eggs, sausage and a banana. I made my way to the other side of the counter where the aroma of fresh baked waffles was filling the air and awakening my tastebuds. I grabbed a paper cup, set it under the spout where the guilty pleasure of waffle batter would flow from, pulled back the lever to release the batter, filled the cup, then poured the waffle batter onto the butter sprayed hot waffle maker, put the arm of the iron down, and flipped the whole thing over to begin the timed bake. The process takes about forty-five seconds, as outlined on a sign above the waffle maker. I had done this so many times before in previous hotels over the past two decades, that I did not need guidance. However, that was not the case for a lady watching me nearby. She approached me and said in very broken English, “You look like a pro at that!” I smiled and said “that may be a bad thing, but yes, I suppose I have done this a few dozen times.” She came closer with eagerness in her eyes and asked if I would show her how to do it, and so I did. She expressed her gratitude with a warm smile and a thank you, then proceeded to make waffles for her entire family, and a few others I believe.

I was so blessed to experience this beautiful opportunity to be kind, to simply love in the moment. I could have pointed to the sign where the directions were. I could have ignored her altogether. I could have even said hurtful words and walked away. Instead, I chose to help with cheerfulness. I promise you that it was not my own fleshly desire that prompted me to help this lady. I was on a tight schedule already. I needed to eat before I could take my medicine, and my stomach was growling something fierce. But, it was Christ’s love flowing through me that caused my spirit to see the need of this grandma and show her love. The language barrier was a non-issue because of love. Her smile warmed my heart, and watching her prepare her entire family waffles made my heart leap. Who knew that love would pour out over the making of waffles!

We have been given new life in Christ. He came to serve; he gave his life in love for us all. And therefore, as sons and daughters of Christ in our salvation with Him, we should walk in this love. To deny or reject the honor to serve, and thus love others, would be to deny the power of the love Christ has given us. The Lord has come to rescue us from self destruction. I am so grateful I did not miss this opportunity to love.

Lord, reveal to us all, through the Holy Spirit, where we are seeking to fill the void in our lives with anything but You, Lord, and Your love. Help us to be the hands and feet of You, allowing Your love to flow from within our hearts.

Joyfully Healing From The Inside Out,

DEEP BREATHING

Katrina Swanson — Mon, 31 Jan 2022 14:14:51 +0000

I have pondered the gift of breathing a lot over the past several months. I have lost many friends to COVID and seen many suffer from COVID pneumonia. Then, the dreadful virus came into our home this past Christmas. My husband and I were down for two weeks. I had pneumonia, so I struggled for air and could not sleep anywhere but in the recliner. I am still not where I need to be, but I am slowly improving. I was fortunate enough to be able to recover at home, unlike so many others who are hospitalized. One thing I have learned to appreciate during my recovery is the beauty of breathing, which is something I took for granted until it became a challenge. Now, I would say breathing is more forward in my thinking and the first thing I thank God for each morning. “Lord, thank you for life. Thank you for giving me breath today, for it assures my heart that You have something great for me to do for You today. Lord, lead me, guide me, and teach me. Amen”

These are now my first words each morning. Waking up while it’s still dark outside is a pleasure I have long enjoyed. I am not a coffee drinker, but a cup of hot cocoa, or a cup of warm water with lemon and honey is comforting. My mind is wide awake and already has begun praising the God of the universe. My feet tap a rhythm of joyful dance, and my tongue sings softly a melody of heartfelt love to my King. These quiet mornings with my Heavenly Father fill my cup to overflowing and set my feet straight for the day. When I miss these moments, I feel out of sync; I feel lost, confused and wayward. So, I seek to be with Him first, for its this personal time I have with Him that allows me to breathe all day!

I am thankful for the air I breathe, the place in life He has me, and the plan He has for my life. It is a comfort to sit with my Father and share, listen, and experience His rejoicing over me. As I listen to the hearts of those around me, I am challenged to pray and invite the same joy to wrap around their shoulders like a warm and cozy blanket.

It is my prayer that you will also experience the warm embrace of your Abba Daddy in an intimate and peaceful way, as you deeply breathe in the air He gives you, and sit and talk with Him daily like a good friend.

Joyfully Healing From the Inside Out,

POSSIBILITY

Katrina Swanson — Sun, 23 Jan 2022 09:51:21 +0000

It was a very cold and wet day, physically and emotionally. I bundled the boys up and packed the bag for a day-long trip. In the falling snow, I drove downtown and joined the line to apply for medical and food assistance. We sat there for hours before being called back for an initial interview. I was nursing, but thankfully I had brought bottles. The boys were as calm as the morning snow accumulating outside.

In the fall of 1997, with a newborn and a two year old, my world suddenly crashed into a million pieces. I was twenty six years old, my pharmacist husband, at that time, was addicted to painkillers, and was arrested for stealing drugs from the company for which he worked. I now found myself weeks away from homelessness and without any income. Physically, I was not able to seek employment yet, so I humbled myself and prayed. “Lord, with you, the possibility of provision is available. Guide my feet!” And he did! He illuminated my steps with who to call for help. He knew before that day came what I would need and what I could do if I trusted Him for the strength to do it. Anything is possible when you walk in His will and plan for your life.

The essential key in this journey was that my hope was in Christ alone! I prayed. I believed. I trusted. I moved. I never blamed Him for the place I was in, never wallowed in self-pity, believed in the possibility of provision and help were available, and that I needed His guidance to find them. The possibility of more is ours to pursue in our relationship with Christ. In Psalm 23, David acknowledges that the Lord had prepared a table for him before his enemies and anointed his head with oil. God was his provider and there were possibilities available to be lavished upon him if he would only accept them! Wow! Such a beautiful truth and gift of hope for King David, and for each of us!

Since that cold day in October, I have chosen to live in optimistic pursuit of the possibilities that God has set upon a table for me!

It is my prayer that you will accept the gifts at the table of the Lord. He is waiting to lavish you. His plans for you are beyond the possibilities of your imagination!

Joyfully Healing From The Inside Out,

NORTH FACED

Katrina Swanson — Sun, 16 Jan 2022 16:19:47 +0000

Balance and footing were everything in my ascent to the rooftop wearing white cuffed, lace trimmed socks with my black patent Mary Jane shoes. If I missed a step, slipped, tripped, or misjudged I would fall and the adventure would be over. Carefully, I climbed the lattice where the bougainvillea grew, leaving about a four-inch space between the thorny pink flowering beauty and the brick wall. I swung my leg over the porch awning and I was suddenly on top of the world. I scanned the shingles for uneven corners, stray pebbles and other debris, removed it, and then it was truly as if nothing could stop my imagination. How could it have been any better?

Can you remember a time when you were uninhibited with an exhilarating burst of natural adrenaline? Your thoughts were set on the challenge ahead, and you already saw yourself accomplishing the task. You didn’t ponder the possibility of failure beforehand, you just lived in a pattern of success. Any thwart to the plan would have caused you to realign and charge straight ahead. That’s what I call “North Faced Thinking.”

For many of us, somewhere along the way a bunch of noise got in our heads that caused us to yield, second guess ourselves, and eventually abort the mission. That adventurous spirit is still inside of you and needs to be set free!

The lies we have allowed to clutter our thinking have impacted us gravely when it comes to fixing our eyes on the mission. We must learn to put aside all “stinkin’ thinkin’” that inhibits our forward movement. We must also embrace a calling or mission that is forward moving. Each of us is created with a unique combination of gifts, talents, and abilities for the beautiful purpose of worshiping God! If we choose to accept who we were created to be, and boldly embrace the calling on our life, we can live in such a way that will rock the world! “North Faced Thinking” is throwing down the old ways of ineffective and unproductive thinking so we can live purposefully and intentionally. Whatever your profession, position, endeavor, or relationship, do it with your eyes fixed forward!

For me, it is living out who I am in Christ. Daily I choose to rise, and fix my thoughts and sights on what He has for me. It’s a choice. The “North Faced Thinking” attitude is a choice to live uninhibited by the noise of the lies that paralyze us from living as we were created to live!

My prayer for you is that you will choose to run the rooftop with me, don’t abort the mission, and rely on God’s strength to empower you to gaze straight ahead!

Joyfully Healing From The Inside Out,

UNABASHED

Katrina Swanson — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 15:50:57 +0000

I enjoy working with small children because of their unabashed attitude toward life and learning. They are unapologetic for their joy in learning about the phenomena that surrounds them. Their uninhibited view is contagious and invigorating. What in your life are you unabashed about?

In 1987 at the age of sixteen, I spent a month in the former Soviet Union as an Ambassador developing relationships between high schools. I met with students in Moscow, Leningrad, and Tashkent. I was excited to a level of overflowing energy and joy that was invigorating about what I was doing. The daily interactions with people through conversations and events revealed how much we all had in common. For so long, our countries had lived on edge with one another. Walls were built based on what the media and political agendas had presented as facts. The truth of the matter was that we all were longing for connection. Having worked with political representatives from both countries, it was evident that hope for change and vulnerability to trust was a common feeling. It was an exhilarating experience that resulted in great forward thinking and movement. I was unapologetic about what I believed. I was eager to spend time with the students sharing our minds and feelings. When invited to their homes to meet their parents and extended families, it was a humbling gift of friendship that expressed a nonverbal trust. I was uninhibited about shining a light on the lies that had divided our two cultures so healing could explode between our countries.

The greatest gift anyone can give is to expose the darkness by shining the light of truth in the matter. My endeavors in the USSR were just a small piece of the puzzle when it comes to shining bright. Something I did not understand being young and naive, but have since come to understand in my reflections, is that everything I did was out of who God had designed me to be. My ideals, motivations, and inner drive was something deeply rooted inside my heart that God had woven into me. I was unabashed about this experience because it was in line with how he created me. My enjoyment of teaching young children gives me the same inner sense of contentment. Letting your light shine through your gifting and talents should flow effortlessly when doing what you are designed to do. To live for Him unabashed because you are in alignment with His will and purpose for your life is the best place to be.

I can honestly say that I need improvement in this area. I suspect we all need to set aside pride and allow God to refine us so that He can shine as bright as possible through us. There is no better place to be than in alignment with Christ!

It is my prayer that each of us will choose to live “unabashedly” for Christ and that we are passionately “child-like” about coming into alignment with what God has planned for us!

Joyfully Healing From the Inside Out,

MY BEST FOR HIM

Katrina Swanson — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 09:11:40 +0000

Since I was old enough to remember, I watched The Little Drummer Boy every Christmas. I shared it with my children and I hope to one day share it with my grandchildren. Growing up, the only things about Jesus I was exposed to was the annual watching of this movie, and the display of a gold painted corn husk nativity set placed in the folds of a purple velvet cloth. Simple, yet what a huge impact they left on my heart. Here are the basic lyrics from the song, minus all drum sounds:

“Come they told me
A new born king to see
Our finest gifts we bring
To lay before the king
So to honor him
When we come
Little baby
I am a poor boy too
I have no gift to bring
That’s fit to give our king
Shall I play for you
Mary nodded
The ox and lamb kept time
I played my drum for him
I played my best for him
Then he smiled at me
Me and my drum
Come they told me
A new born king to see.”

I am humbled by the realization that the talents of so many brought this movie into the homes of families all across America for decades, allowing the message of Christ to be told and heard by millions every Christmas season. The lyrics of the song ring loudly in their actions. What a challenge they have set forth for us all. I am in awe of the talented hands that made the nativity that I affectionately played dolls with, and daily rocked the little baby Jesus before laying him back in the manger. I was blessed to experience the products of such talents. They gave their best and now I am challenged to do the same. There is no excuse to withhold sharing our talents. When I give my best through my talents, it is a naturally easy expression of worship. Do you have a talent that you keep a secret or tucked away, pulling it out upon occasion for quick use? I have learned that you miss out on the blessing of giving and receiving when you hold back your gifts. The Lord gave you the treasures you have when He created you. He created you with talents, gifts and abilities that were meant to move humanity forward. Do you share them? Be a humble and willing vessel for the Lord, and watch Him work through your talents and gifting to light up the world!

It is my prayer that you will love mightily as you give generously with your talents. Will you tell the Lord in this coming new year that you are available and ready to give your best to Him?

Joyfully Healing from the Inside Out,

JOYFUL ANTICIPATION

Katrina Swanson — Mon, 20 Dec 2021 04:28:47 +0000

I remember the first road trip my family made to San Diego, CA. Mom driving, Grandma in the passenger seat, and my younger sister and I in the back seat with a box of Dunkin Donuts between us. The anticipation of Sea World and Disneyland was more than this four year old little girl could handle. I am confident I wore out the questions, “How much longer?”, “When will we be there?”, “Is it time?” All expressions of joyful anticipation of the coming of something great! They understood the inner battle I was faced with, and my excitement could not be contained.

In Matthew 2:10 the response of the Wise Men was a great, uncontainable joy! They saw the star they had anticipated! That’s it! That’s all! The anticipated star that would lead to the long awaited Messiah. A prophecy so many had longed to see in their lifetime. It was now upon them. They had reason to be full of joy! I imagine they leapt with excitement, embraced with hugs, and shouted celebratory exclamations! Or, maybe they were so overcome with joy, that they wept, and fell to their knees in reverent humility. Either would have been appropriate and acceptable. The source of their joy was the arrival of the Savior.

Every day dawns with an embrace from our Savior as He gives us life and breath by choosing us to be His ambassadors for the day. Breathe in the gift of life and call out in praise the glory due His name. Celebrate His calling on you with joyful anticipation of what lies ahead today. He has chosen me, and He has chosen you this day!

I close my post each week with “Joyfully Healing from the Inside Out,” because I have been given life. I have faced death, and He chose to restore my life. It’s been a long journey, and truthfully, some days have been discouraging. That discouragement comes when I lose sight of the bigger picture and focus my thoughts on me instead of Him. When I rise in the morning with breath in my lungs, it is with joyful anticipation of what He has in store for me today. It is the healing touch of His presence in my life that causes my uncontainable joy. This healing journey has allowed me to reflect back and acknowledge all those times when it seemed I was alone. Truthfully, He had me in His loving and safe arms. He never left my side. He was with me in the pain and the sorrow, the confusion and the grief, the celebrations and the anticipations, the longing and the suffering, the dreaming and the reality, the play and the work, and the love and hurt. His plan and His ways are far greater than my mind can perceive, but I still choose to follow Him like those wise men followed the star to the manger over two thousand years ago. My joy is based in the anticipation of all He has for me today!

This Christmas, I pray that you will follow the star to the manger in anticipation of experiencing joy in an uncontainable and indescribable way!

Joyfully Healing From the Inside Out,

CHRISTMAS HEART SONG

Katrina Swanson — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 22:09:44 +0000

Have you ever woken up with a song on the tip of your tongue, just bursting to sing it, and when you do it just makes you feel giddy or playful all through your body? Maybe I am alone in this phenomenon, but I typically awake with energy, alertness, a song in my heart, and a dance in my step; it’s just who I am!

A year ago, I was determined it was going to be a great Christmas, regardless of all the pandemic oppression that was stealing Christmas, like it was the Grinch, but whose heart would never grow! I so much wanted it to be a beautiful and fun, family Christmas.

I want to communicate openly and honestly that I am NOT a songwriter, singer, or a musician of any kind. I do have a good sense of rhythm, if that counts for anything. I believe God gave me the following song as a gift. I woke up with these lyrics in my mind. It was practically like trying to stop a waterfall from flowing over a cliff when it came to singing them out loud. I was so afraid I would forget the words, so my husband recommended I record it. I used the iPhone audio note app already on my phone, and did just that. I continued to whirl and swirl with joy in my heart all morning; then, someone needed the song. That was the Holy Spirit prompting me to share it. I was very hesitant, because remember, I only make a joyful noise. But, I shared it with a friend who had just lost her husband to complications from the COVID. It was an awkward moment, but she lit up like a Christmas tree! She genuinely thanked me for sharing the song with her, saying it was exactly what she needed to hear. I pray your heart experiences the same joy when you ponder the depth of these words!

There’s a song in my heart this Christmas, a melody soft and sweet.

A whisper of hope, a touch of peace, an embrace of mercy and grace.

There’s a song in my heart this Christmas, melody soft and sweet.

A gift of love, a note of joy, an offering of truth prevailing.

There’s a song in my heart this Christmas, a melody soft and sweet.

A gentle word, a powerful name, an audacious proclamation.

He came as a babe, bridged heaven and earth, lived to die for all mankind.

It’s a song that will speak through the noise of the deep, and break the silence of inner retreat.

Set captives free and heal hearts. What a wonderful mystery!

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

God is with us, Emmanuel.

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

God is with us, Emmanuel.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

There’s a song in my heart this Christmas, a melody soft and sweet.

It’s my prayer that you experience a song in your heart this Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Joyfully Healing from the Inside Out,

P.S.

Here is the song file as I sang it that morning. Enjoy!