Has your day seemed dark?  Have you sat staring into nothingness only to come out of it realizing the entire day has slipped through your fingers like sand?  Does lethargy hover over your soul?  Are you mentally immobilized and physically paralyzed?

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,

each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.”

‭‭- Psalm‬ ‭56:8‬  (‭MSG‬)

Reading in Psalms, I was moved in my thinking to a place of loss that I had not taken the time to grieve. It was time to process my miscarriage from August of 2016.  I sat in my chair lost in thought from late morning till the sun had retired.  I went over every detail of that moment in my life again and again and again.  The hole was huge, gaping wide open, and not healed.  I began to weep, tears flowed, and I felt free to grieve.  The process of just sitting and allowing my body to feel the hurt was like salve to my brokenness.  That place of just sitting was likened to lamenting.  Releasing the crippling pain that had paralyzed my heart was freeing.  In the authentic place of lamenting, I came barren in soul to a posture of surrender with a quietness of my soul that was bent toward heaven.  I came with a heart of worship, even in my sorrow.  I came to accept that my child was with the One who created every part of their being.  My child was gone from my presence, but eternally in the care of my Heavenly Father.  To celebrate and feel the joy of this precious life after going through the worship of lamenting the loss, was healing.  

It was this passage that helped me realize that the God of the universe, the same God who made me and came to earth as a babe to make a way for all mankind to spend eternity with him, cared about the small and the big and the joys and the losses in my life.  He cared about my heart’s condition; the loss of my baby pained him, too.  He cares so much that he keeps track of my sorrows, he collects my tears in a bottle, and then journals about them … he records them… he relates to them … he remembers them!

It is my prayer that you will experience the worship of lamenting and the healing of loss in your life.  May you know that your Father in heaven knows you and has collected every tear and recorded it.  He knows you! He sees your pain!  He remembers your loss. And, he grieves with you.

Joyfully Healing from the Inside Out,